I make the healthy kind of Kraft Dinner.
The profanity I direct at video games is tasteful and restrained.
I understand over half the settings on my washer and dryer.
There is slightly more milk than beer in my fridge.
I know where the vacuum cleaner is, and have contemplated using it.
I watch the classy kind of pornography.
When I cry myself to sleep I make sure I’m not loud enough to wake my roommates.