Snowstorms now have an official nomenclature, similar to how cyclones are named. It is therefore inevitable that the media will produce dreadful headlines when these storms hit. If any of the following are used, I vow to pelt the offending journalist with snowballs until they apologise.
This Athena’s No Beauty!
Et Tu, Brutus?
Draco Wizards Up a Storm!
Euclid Creates non-Euclidean Roads
Let’s Hope For Less Freyr Weather!
Gandolf to Commuters: You Shall Not Pass!1
Helen: The Storm That Launched a Thousand Traffic Accidents
Iago Demands you Shovel
The Wrath of Khan
You’d Have to be a Luna-tic to Go Outside Today!
Magnus Deposits a White Load
Nemo Found Us!
Orko You Glad You’re Not Outside Today?2
Plato’s Cave Snowed In
As If On Q
Rocky VII Released Overnight
Saturn Brings a Snow-aturnalia
Don’t Even Triton Drive Today!
Is It Ever Ukko Out There!
Virgil Conquers All; Let Us Surrender to Snow
Houses Walda-ed In By Snow
Xerxes Strands 300
We Can’t Yogi Bear This Weather!
2 Orko is a thunder deity in ancient Basque mythology, and far too obscure to make coherent headlines with.