Clickbait Headlines of the Distant Future

People Take One Look At Him And Assume He’s From Planetary Settlement Alpha Romeo 27-X-9. But He’s Actually From Lunar Settlement Hotel Zulu 19-Q-4.

17 Heart-Warming Cybernetic Body Implants That Will Restore Your Faith In Transhumanity.

His Brain Is Made Of Plastic. But His Heart Is Made Of Gold.

33 Stuffed Animals Simulating Positions Historians Say “Pet Owners” Of The 21st Century Found Adorable.

These People Dismissed Beth As A “Mere” Artificial Intelligence. Then They Heard Her Play The Violin, While Also Playing The Piano And Theremin And Writing A Mystery Novel And Analysing The Galactic Economy And Scanning Observers For Any Medical Abnormalities Or Criminal Backgrounds That Should Be Reported To The Overseers.

He Was Built To Terminate Life. What He’s Terminating Is Prejudice.

18 Spaceships We Can’t Believe They Terraformed And Colonised Venus With.

Ranking The 2 Female Presidents Of The United States.

3 thoughts on “Clickbait Headlines of the Distant Future

  1. Tanya Huang

    Damn I was trying to click “17 Heart-Warming Cybernetic Body Implants That Will Restore Your Faith In Transhumanity.” then I saw the title of this article.

    Came here after reading your only-children article on Cracked. It was awesome.

    …And the part about incest was strangely true.

    Reply
  2. ALEXISTAN

    Mark E Hill, you fresh glass of mineral water, you! Your “Crime Spree” article for “Cracked” plain drew me in. Quite amusing.

    You inspire me!

    More headlines:

    “SCENTIENT” SENTINELS? AMERICA’S NEW POLICE DOGS
    http://selfinflictedworld.com/2014/10/01/i-am-king/

    BREAKING THE SILICON CEILING: WATSON TAKES COMMAND
    http://selfinflictedworld.com/2014/05/29/the-silicon-ceiling/

    MY SUPERPOWER: ANTELEPATHY
    http://selfinflictedworld.com/2014/04/17/my-superpower/

    I hope these amuse you as your work amuses me.

    Best Wishes,

    Alex Kroll

    Reply
  3. Nate Liu

    I came here after reading your “5 Behaviors Video Games Reward and Reality Calls Crazy” article on Cracked. Clicked on the link to this article, and took me around 5 seconds to get the jokes and giggle LOL! 😉

    Reply

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