Thoughts My Teenage Self Assumed I Would Be Having
Should I save time by having the help polish my Booker Prize, or would doing it myself allow me precious moments to reflect on both my past and my future?
When I emerge from my mysterious period of reclusiveness, which publication should I give an exclusive interview to?
Do I want to die tragically young at the height of great success, or become an elderly and respected national treasure?
How impressive is my video game collection?
Would it be more dramatic if I cheated on my supermodel wife in a scandalous public affair or kept it private to reveal in a memoir decades later?
Thoughts I Am Actually Having
At what point does it become sad that I only know like six recipes?
Is my nose hair getting longer, or am I just growing more of it?
Why, as a professional writer, does it still take me three tries to spell “necessary”?
Oh God, how impressive is my video game collection?
When I die alone will my cats eat me, or will animal protection services already have taken them away?